Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Who would you want to be?

With nothing on TV last night, Dirk and I got into a really funny conversation that I just had to share. I’m not exactly sure how it got started, but Dirk mentioned that if he could be anyone else he would want to be Wolf Blitzer (from CNN). Dirk told me that if he could be Wolf, I could be Meredith (from Grey’s). Seriously, Meredith, the most troubled person in the world (I mean if she were actually a person anyway). No thank you. I think he was thinking of my mad crush on Patrick Dempsey.
Wolf in the Situation Room

I was like really out of everyone in the whole world you would be Wolf? Well, then he decided it need serious consideration, right. We went through several possibilities like Hugh Heffner, Dirk Diggler, and Pale (the soccer player, I can’t make the accent mark over the e) and Anderson Cooper. Even my own step father; his reasoning being that he thinks my step dad has an easy life as my mother does everything around the house and he has a good job that Dirk believes is easy and fun. So, I guess he was looking for lifestyle as opposed to actually being the person… He was looking for someone “cool” and exciting. Someone that had lots of power. After about two hours of considering all these people and telling me why exactly he DID NOT want to be them i.e. too much sex at work means you don’t want to for fun, too much work, too much fame, too gay, and so on. Believe it or not, he finally decided that he wanted to be HIMSELF. Crazy huh?

Well this got me thinking, who would I want to be? I went an entirely different direction. First, I thought who wouldn’t want to be Oprah?! Then I remembered her crappy childhood. Do I get to be her now and not have the past? I guess not because her past made her who she is. I thought maybe Reese Witherspoon. Silly, I know, but she has tons of money, cute kids, is passionate about her work, famous enough to go wherever she wants but not so famous she can’t live her life. The only problem is that pesky divorce. Although, I might prefer to have divorced Ryan Phillippe than to have never married him at all!
Aren't they cute??

I haven’t been able to pick just one person. I am trying hard to think of some really great singer (which I wish I could be, but as I can’t sing at all I guess that won’t happen), but a great artist with passion. And maybe a little crazy! I do still have Michelle Obama on the list. Pretty, smart, powerful. She can do great things in the next few years and I personally think she will…. I don’t know maybe Marilyn Monroe! More fun.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Here's your sign....

I am very lucky and excited to be spending Christmas in Germany this year. My husband is German (yes like fresh off the boat German… does that work with Europe too or just southern counties??). Anyway, he has only lived here about two years now. So, we are happy to be going back to Germany for Christmas and his brother’s wedding, which we never thought would happen.
I suppose I should explain a little. I lived in Germany for three years. We met and married there. It is kind of funny to me that others are so interested and surprised that we go back to visit. Lots of people ask some really good questions about how things are overseas. Having traveled most of Europe while I was there, I also have lots of stories that I am happy to share.

Just a side note, I have two very funny questions that I have been asked. My own mother (who had never been out of the States at the time) actually asked if “they have cell phones over there”. Crazy, right. I mean turn on the freakin news would ya. She has now visited there and fell in love with the landscape and friendly people. The other question is forgivable because my niece asked it when she was like 8 years old. But she was always very fascinated by the time difference. Everytime she called she would ask what time is it there. Everytime she would say wow that’s so cool. Well, what she didn’t really get was that while it was a different time zone things happen at sort of the same pace. I got some American TV channels right. So, she was shocked when she called to see, I’m not kidding here, WHO WON THE SUPERBOWL!! How funny! I had a difficult time explaining that I was 7 hours AHEAD not 7 hours in the FUTURE! The American Superbowl had not taken place in Germany before the US!! You gotta love kids right! Seriously, I think she wanted to make some bets and thought I could win her some money!

Ok, so the real reason for blog was to tell you all that I have had what I think are hilarious conversations that go something like:

Brooke: Oh, I can’t go, we will be in Germany then.
Other: Cool, Germany. What for?
Brooke: (After all this time people get the shortened answer). Christmas with the in-laws and a wedding (as if I am talking about driving two hours upstate right)
Other: Wow! That will be a lot of fun!

This is almost always followed by ARE YOU FLYING? It kills me not to say, nope we are swimming. We’re leaving tomorrow so we can make it there on time. I know it’s kind of mean. I understand that many people don’t get to do a lot of traveling around our own country let alone any place else. But seriously, do people actually take boats to Europe anymore? Isn’t that called a cruise? Wouldn’t I have said we are taking a cruise? Are there even boat companies that transport people? I guess there probably still are, but can you imagine how badly one would have to hate flying to be willing to sit on a boat for that long? I am already dreading that long flight, but by boat? Seriously!
That got me thinking are there other options? I guess you could consider driving up to Canada then through the Barren Strait, over to Russia, and down. I am not sure if there is land connecting Alaska to Russia? I guess I will have to ask Sarah Palin. Can you drive it? How many hours would that take? Again, why not FLY?

I know I am crazy. But I have heard this question so many times, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I always think of Bill Engvol and the here’s your sign jokes… I just love those because they are so true!

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Phone crazy

I’m generally not one to criticize technology. I don’t know maybe I am getting old, but cell phones drive me crazy these days! I have had one for years. Actually, when I was 16 my mom made me get one of those old “bag phones” for the car. Her rule was that I had to have one to drive alone, but she would not buy it for me…. She was thinking safety, I guess.
Anyway, they have never bothered me before. I think the turning point started when I was station in Geilenkirchen, Germany. I was in a little grocery store on base that served several different nationalities. I was looking for something pretty intently. While doing my best to figure out if the item I had in my hand was what I really thought it would be (doing my best to translate the label), a nicely dressed Italian lady came up beside me. She was sorting through a shelf looking for whatever it was she was wanted. Well, she started talking in rapid fire Italian. I just stood there like ummm… I have no idea what you are saying. It took me several minutes to realize that she had one of those ear bud things in. Like a bluetooth or something. She had been talking on the phone the whole time. That was several years ago and maybe the first person I had ever seen walking around a store talking loudly as if everyone wanted to hear her conversation. I was a little embarrassed and very thankful that I didn’t attempt to talk back to someone who was not talking me!
These days people are ALWAYS on their phones. Seriously, why did people suddenly get so important that they think they need to talk on the phone like 19 hours a day? Why do people think that all kids need a phone, even if they are 10?
Texting also makes me a little crazy. I think it’s a great feature to have, don’t get me wrong. I just think it is widely overused. You can’t have lunch with someone without them spending at least some time either sending a text, checking one, or showing you something stupid someone else sent them. Some of my friends have taken to sending me forwards, as if it wasn’t bad enough to have like 20 of those things in my email box. I have more to delete now!
I have done a fairly decent job of keeping my silly complaints to myself. However, my sister and her daughter rode with my husband and I several hours in the car to visit my father for Thanksgiving. Her phone was going off nonstop! It didn’t help that her phone would start some song each time she received a message. So every few minutes this loud “LOOOOOVVVVEEEE” in some female voice would start. I have no idea what comes next because she always flipped open her phone really fast. Like the person on the other end was in some life or death situation that required her speedy acknowledgement of the message. Apparently she had several different conversations going on at the same time. One of those conversations (I won’t give you the details because I didn’t ask her if I could) could have been a ten second phone call. Instead, it was a forty minute texting spree.
I also get sick of hearing everyone’s favorite song. My husband and I were shopping in the mall today. A woman was next to us looking through some things. She was probably in her early forties and a respectable looking woman. When her phone started blaring Baby Got Back, I couldn’t keep from laughing out loud. Or dancing a little. She let it ring forever; we almost heard the whole song. And it wasn’t one of those that repeating the same line over and over. She then had a full conversation with her friend all around the store at top volume.
While I enjoy having my phone available, I don’t think that I am required to have it on and be accessible to everyone everywhere all of time.

Monday, November 24, 2008

I'm it!!

I've been tagged by fellow blogger Danielle and Mason! This means that I have to tell you eight random facts about myself and then tag eight other people. Whoo Hoo! So, here it goes:

1. I love to target shoot and play games like paintball and laser tag. The messier it is the better. I'm a great sniper.

2. If I really love a pair of shoes, I don’t care what size they are. I can’t feel my feet any more anyway!

3. I am addicted to reality tv. I love those stupid shows like The Amazing Race, Survivor, and Dancing with the Stars. I like to watch when there is a winner and a loser. Sad, huh? I also like the ones about rich people i.e. Tori Spelling and Denise Richards.

4. I really love to watch home improvement shows and then tell my husband all the things we need to do to our home. I haven’t yet started a project!

5. I like TONS of different kinds of music. Everything from The Doors, Sex Pistols, and Aerosmith to Dave Mathews and the Beatles. There is no era that I don’t like! Even those sappy 50’s songs…
6. I think Wolf Blizter can hear me. Honestly, I talk to him all the time. I LOVE CNN and politics.

7. I am terrible at remembering birth dates and ages. I can never remember my anniversary or how many years we have been married. I think marriage is kind of stupid anyway. How do you expect me to promise that I will want to be with the same person in like 45 years??? We focus on making it one day at time!

8. I can’t stay in the same place long. After about a year, I start wondering where else I can move and what kind of job I could have. It physically starts to hurt to be in the same place long. My husband says it’s the Indian blood in me, but the rest of my family has no problem living in the same place their whole lives. I think it’s a fear commitment.

These are the eight people I have tagged:

Ok, so the tag rules are as follows: Each player starts with eight random fact/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules. At the end of your blog post, you need to tag eight people and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’ve been tagged and to read your blog.

Monday, November 17, 2008

I SAID....

Dirk and I have many communication issues. Primarily though, our problems result from his mumbling and my inability to hear. Together, this causes some MAJOR confusion in our house.
We are lucky enough to have a large enough home that we can’t always hear the other from different rooms in the house. Many nights, I am watching TV or working on some new “project” in the living or baking in the kitchen. Dirk can generally be found playing Soccer Manager or surfing the net at the back of the house in the computer room.
For some reason, Dirk finds this to be the perfect time to shout “Broooo, du uuuu av un minnnnn”. I shout “WHAT!” . Again, I hear, “ Brooo, du uuu av un minnnnn”.
I have to say my reaction is normally not the best. I sometime mumble to myself about what kind of idiotic thing is he trying to say. I figure that when I ignore him and nothing happens that it must not have been that important and if he really wanted something he could get off his butt and come tell me. I continue doing whatever it was that I had been doing.
Then I hear, “dammmmm, uuuu m….t… t..”.
By this point, I am tired of being interrupted. I stomp to the computer room and demand to know what the hell is so important that it needs to be shouted down the hall.
The next conversation goes something like:

Dirk: I asked if you had a minute. (The first sentence was supposed to be Brooke, do you have a minute)
Brooke: Well, I couldn’t hear you. I asked what.
Dirk: I said it again. Then you ignored me. I had something for you to see.
Brooke: Why didn’t you walk down the hall and tell me?!
Dirk: You missed it now anyway.

Now, I am really angry because there isn’t even anything for me to see. I can pretty much guess it’s not something I wanted to see to begin with. Most of the time, I stomp back to whatever I was doing. Only to start the whole process over again.

Sometimes the process is started by me shouting to Dirk. The problem there is that he ALWAYS answers and the answer NEVER makes any sense to me. Those conversations are more like:

Brooke: Hey Dirk, do you want cheese on your sandwich? (What he actually hears, I have no idea)
Dirk: Ummm….. what kind are you is it being? (I have no idea what he means)
Brooke: What?
Dirk: Well I just (words missing) ummmm up (Again no idea what he is really saying)
Brooke: You just have to eat what I give you if you can’t answer in English! Do you want turkey or ham?
Dirk: Yea…. (he seems to love to answer “or questions” with yes or no)

I tend to start mumbling about how he can eat what I give him even though I started the shouting. When I bring him the sandwich I generally get, “Oh, I said turkey and cheese with Mayo”. I slam the plate down and tell him to make it himself next time.

Friday, November 14, 2008

My Chauncelot Expirence

I don’t know if anyone reads Life in Chauncelot by Danielle and Mason; if not you really should check it out. Danielle is the main blogger in the family and tells some pretty good stories about living in a well… unusual little town. A town that I happened to grow up in. So, I thought I might add some of my own stories from when I lived there as a small child.
There are a couple of stories that come to mind all involving “high water”.
When I was just about 7 years old, I remember the water coming up pretty high, but not high enough that we had to leave our home. So, my parents stayed in the house with my sister and I. We didn’t have to leave, but we couldn’t really go anyplace either as the water came right up to our front porch.
We were sitting on the porch with my several of my uncles and my grandfather who had rowed their boat over to check on us and make sure we had enough supplies i.e. water, batteries, and food. Across the street their was a young man that had lived their for as long as I can remember… and might still. I’m going to call him Tom. He was a pretty heavy guy at the time. Well, I guess he was tired of sitting in the house. So, he was climbing into a row boat and declared to my family that he was going to get some donuts from the “store” in town. We watched closely as the boat rocked back and forth while made his way into the boat. We continued watching in awe as he labored heavily to row the boat. The “store” is about a mile or so from the house. My family stayed on the porch waiting for Tom to return with his donuts. It took much longer than we expected; I guess he really wanted those donuts. When he finally returned with his donuts he was very proud of his accomplishment. In fact, he had already opened the package and had started eating them. But as Tom stood up to exit the boat, it began rocking pretty badly. Tom had to sadly stand by as the donuts fell from his hand and into the nasty flood water. Tom looked bewilderedly into the water as his donuts floated away. I am not proud to say this, but my uncles and grandfather thought this was the funniest thing ever to happen. One uncle began shouting “Hey Dunkin’ Donuts”! Tom worked his way out of the boat and back into his house…. Without his donuts. He has ever since been known as Dunkin’ Donuts.

The other flood memory I have is when once again the water came up. This time so high we had to go stay with my aunt and uncle “on the hill”. They had a lovely, but smaller home at the time. With all 10- 15 of us in the house and of course, all our pets, it got pretty crowded. I happened to have three ducks. Apparently, we ran out of space because somehow the ducks got out and went for a swim in the flood water. A neighbor several streets over found the ducks in her backyard. The good neighbor loaded the ducks up in her row boat and brought them back to me. I was so happy to see them!
I believe it was after this flood (I was about 9 at the time) I decided to “interview” the neighbors about how the flood effected them and what they thought should be done to prevent this from continuing to happen. I walked around town with my mom’s video camera and asked questions of the neighbors. Nobody seemed to mind that I was only 9. They answered their doors and answered my questions as though they might just appear on the news!

Thursday, November 13, 2008


After all that complaining about my husband and football season, Dirk did the sweetest thing. I had mentioned several times about two months ago that I was not happy with the way my skin was looking. I have also enjoyed going to the spa in Europe and getting facials. It has been several years since I got one. My skin looked like a teenagers bumpy acne with old lady wrinkles on my forehead. I will admit, I complained long and loud about the lack of spa’s in our tiny town. For my birthday, Dirk found a place that would do a facial. On one of those infrequent days off, I headed in to see what our little ol’ town had to offer. Honestly, at this point, I’d take anything!
I wasn’t expecting much from the hair salon that also does facials. I was pleasantly surprised though. I did have to wait about half an hour after my appointment time. As you might imagine, I had already decided this place SUCKS and I just want to leave and have my money back. Who waits half an hour?! I was in a mood by this time. The lady that came out to get me was very apologetic and did not make excuses, which is very uncommon.
She began by offering me water and coffee. She gave me a big fluffy robe and left the room so I could change. I’m not exactly sure why one needs to take off all of their clothing for something that only involves the face, but I’m down for getting comfortable. Keep in mind I have only been to a day spa. So, you normally have several hours of full body treatments, sauna, hot tub, and such before the facial part comes. So, I really didn’t know what to expect. I get to lay down on this super comfortable reclining chair that is heated! It was great. The lady covered me and my fluffy robe up with some light blankets that were also heated. I was so snug, I never wanted to get up.
After that, I had my eye’s closed and was so relaxed I was almost comatose. So all I know is what the lady said she was doing and how it felt. She began by washing my face with what felt like those facial wipes. Then layer some damp warm towels over my face to “open the pores”. I had seen my pores before I got there, they were pretty open! She then got out this loud power tool sounding thing and began “exfoliating”. It felt a lot like how one of those nail tools looks. It kind of tickled and I can’t believe it did much. But after a few minutes she was satisfied. Next, she got this huge lamp and put something cold and kind of heavy over my eyes. She explained that this lamp was going to show her under my skin. That sounds pretty gross to me, but she did it anyway. She said something about having some sun damage on my chin, but apparently it wasn’t that big of a deal. Then she did the weirdest thing. Something I have never had happen before.

This lady put some kind of fan directly on my face that I swear blew out the wind directly from hell. It was the hottest thing I have ever felt. Suddenly my face felt HUGE and sweat started pouring out. Then she just left it there! She kept asking if I was OK, but my mouth my so dry I couldn’t talk. Not to mention, I felt like my face was so heavy I wouldn’t move my mouth if I tried. I had to breathe this air that I really thought might catch my nose, throat, and lungs on fire. It felt like this lasted a lifetime. I couldn’t even guess how long it really went on.
When she finally took away the fan, my face felt so weird. Like I could feel every thing in the air passing by. It got very cold very quickly. Next, the lady said she was going to “vacuum” my face. At this point, I had no idea what she might do. Thankfully, she only used something that felt like silly putting to suction something off my face. She said it was unblocking my pores. It sort of reminded me of that slim that kids use… ya know, the stuff that looks like a hand and you slap it down and it smooshes back up slowly… just like that… all over my face.
I was just starting to relax again when suddenly the lady was poking the crap out of my face with this really sharp thing. I couldn’t really tell if it was her fingernails (I would hope not) or something like a dentist uses to scrap plaque. She poked that thing all over my face. I couldn’t imagine that after everything she did there would be anything left in my pores… they must have been worse than I thought.
She then washed my face with a towel with very warm water. I couldn’t help, but wonder lying there with my eyes closed (I had been thinking things a mile a minute this whole time) where she was getting such hot water and I didn’t see a sink back when I had eyes to see with and I didn’t hear any water running. I found out after wards that it was water from a crockpot sitting on the table! It did feel good though after all that poking.
Then she put on this really nice face mask. I have no idea what it was, I would Eucalyptus because that’s what it felt like. At this point, my face is kind of starting to burn. Then the lady did the best thing of all. While the mask was setting, she massage my arms from the elbow down and my hands with some yummy smelling lotion. This didn’t last nearly long enough!

After she washed it all off, she began to massage my face with this really hot oil. It was nice, but now my face was really beginning to hurt! It was starting to burn all over and all the rubbing really made it worse. There was so much oil! It was nice, but I felt like I was being marinated.
I was really happy when she washed that off. I had a jolt when she then put really COLD towels on my face. I guess to close the pores back up. By the time she put on some final lotion, I was so happy it was over. This was nothing like what I was used to.
I know that each time you get a facial you break out pretty back for a couple of days then everything should be all better, for a little while anyway. That doesn’t make it any easier to accept all that pain to be broken out again! The lady told me to do a mud mask once a week to “help keep those blackheads under control”. Now that made me feel better!
My husband told me the whole next week how smooth my skin was. The best was when he told me that he couldn’t see my “wrinkles” as much and my skin might be tighter. When I was about this, he quickly reminded me that it wouldn’t last long!
He even said that I have less blackheads. When I asked where they were before he answered “I don’t know, but you said the lady told you it would help with blackheads so I just figured”. If nothing else, I have learned that my husbands tries to do right and he listens at least sometimes!

The things we ladies do to look our best…..

Saturday, November 8, 2008

When is football season over?

So, I’ll be honest ladies. I thought I hit the jackpot when I first started dating my husband and he proclaimed that he did not understand the obsession of “American football”. He is German and often said that “football (soccer) is the only sport worth watching”. Well, I heard “you will never have be stuck watching football again”. I mean, I can stand soccer. It only lasts 90 minutes and there aren’t that many games on. I managed to smile my way through many Gladcach games. Those fans are sure entertaining to watch!

Imagine my surprise when a few months after we moved back to the States, my wonderful German husband took a liking to college football. I blame the Florida Gators. As it happens, our first year in Florida, the Gators won the Nation Championship. So, it began. All of you know what football season is like…… college AND pro… then basketball…. and of course soccer… both German and US league….

All of this is building up to my story from today. My husband was given some tickets to the Parents Weekend game for our local university. Having grown up here, I am not all that excited about sitting in the cold watching a very poor team lose to a team that is almost as bad. We often go to sporting events, but this one is just not for me. But, when my husband’s buddies got called out of town for work, I smiled and agreed to go. Just as I thought, it was freezing cold and our team didn’t score even one touchdown. After only three hours, we headed home. I did not complain about my freezing bum and hands the whole time!! I made dinner while he (you guessed it) watched another game on TV. We rarely eat in front of the TV, but it’s a weekend, right? The first thing I said when I sat down was “please don’t make me watch football while I eat!”. He assured me that there was only one minute left of this game and it’s very important that Penn State losses. I guess somehow we can about that because it would bump Florida up in the standings. So, I close my mouth and wait out the “one minute” which quickly becomes three. Finally though, game over and no arguing. Penn States loses, yea! I have been doing my best this far not to shout out that I have had enough football for one day. Low and behold, there is another game that is “almost over” . Well, this game is still not over when I have finished eating. Now, time to dishes, so much fun. I will give Dirk credit though. He did get up to dry the dishes. However, he couldn’t miss a second of the game. So, he proceeded to pick up a wet newly washed dish and carry it over so he could see the TV. Dry it. Walk back over to pick up another dish. And so on until the dishes are done. I casually mention that I might want to watch something with him… could we pick out a movie or something. I wanted to scream when he said the Gators are playing at 8! I mumbled something about having my fill of football for the day. Thus, my new blog.

As I sit here and vent, Dirk brought me a bottle of water because “I thought you might be thirsty”. Now, I feel a little bad about complaining. But can anyone tell me when football season is over???