Monday, August 3, 2009


So I had a weird experience this morning. My husband had the day off after being out of town working for several days including the weekend. So, I got up at my normal time and started getting ready. The hubby was awake, but still in bed. I casually asked what he thought he might do today. He replied that he had a vastly full day of very important things that MUST be done today. I sort of feel sorry for him and ask him what he feels is so vital that he can’t have a day to do nothing! He replied that there are bills that need to be paid online, he needs to file some papers, and do laundry. Hmmm…. not exactly what I would call a full 8 hours, but hey, I didn’t work all weekend. So, feeling generous, I remind him that he paid all the bills before he left and that none came in the mail while he was gone. Item one – check. That I did laundry two days ago so he would really only need to wash what he brought home. Item two - check. Man, am I being helpful or what?! He will be able to read, watch a little TV, and whatever it is guys do to relax, right? Seems my thoughtfulness didn’t land.

Worse than that, he started with “why are you shouting at me?” Shouting, WTF?! Was I shouting? No, no I don’t think so. I thought I was being nice. Hmmm, failure to communicate. I tried to say, no, I am not shouting and I just want to help you have to do less. I already took care of the laundry; don’t waste your time rewashing what I already did. We have all these hand towels that nobody ever uses that we leave hanging up. We normally wash them once a week just in case someone decides to use them… don’t wash those again. I think “all better”. Oh no, this time he says that I am “attacking” him. By this time I am completely baffled and starting to get a little pissed. I proceed to tell him he is a big baby and should learn the difference between helpful and hurtful and that he is an over sensitive ninny. Let me just tell, that didn’t help matters! Not the right answer.

Somehow we manage to just forget. Several years of marriage will do that to you. We just get tired of arguing and decide we’re over it and move. There was no real resolution. But I will tell you, I will not offer to take away tasks so that he can relax anymore. Let him wash the damn towels twice next time! Lesson learned.