I SAID....

Dirk and I have many communication issues. Primarily though, our problems result from his mumbling and my inability to hear. Together, this causes some MAJOR confusion in our house.
We are lucky enough to have a large enough home that we can’t always hear the other from different rooms in the house. Many nights, I am watching TV or working on some new “project” in the living or baking in the kitchen. Dirk can generally be found playing Soccer Manager or surfing the net at the back of the house in the computer room.
For some reason, Dirk finds this to be the perfect time to shout “Broooo, du uuuu av un minnnnn”. I shout “WHAT!” . Again, I hear, “ Brooo, du uuu av un minnnnn”.
I have to say my reaction is normally not the best. I sometime mumble to myself about what kind of idiotic thing is he trying to say. I figure that when I ignore him and nothing happens that it must not have been that important and if he really wanted something he could get off his butt and come tell me. I continue doing whatever it was that I had been doing.
Then I hear, “dammmmm, uuuu m….t… t..”.
By this point, I am tired of being interrupted. I stomp to the computer room and demand to know what the hell is so important that it needs to be shouted down the hall.
The next conversation goes something like:

Dirk: I asked if you had a minute. (The first sentence was supposed to be Brooke, do you have a minute)
Brooke: Well, I couldn’t hear you. I asked what.
Dirk: I said it again. Then you ignored me. I had something for you to see.
Brooke: Why didn’t you walk down the hall and tell me?!
Dirk: You missed it now anyway.

Now, I am really angry because there isn’t even anything for me to see. I can pretty much guess it’s not something I wanted to see to begin with. Most of the time, I stomp back to whatever I was doing. Only to start the whole process over again.

Sometimes the process is started by me shouting to Dirk. The problem there is that he ALWAYS answers and the answer NEVER makes any sense to me. Those conversations are more like:

Brooke: Hey Dirk, do you want cheese on your sandwich? (What he actually hears, I have no idea)
Dirk: Ummm….. what kind are you is it being? (I have no idea what he means)
Brooke: What?
Dirk: Well I just (words missing) ummmm up (Again no idea what he is really saying)
Brooke: You just have to eat what I give you if you can’t answer in English! Do you want turkey or ham?
Dirk: Yea…. (he seems to love to answer “or questions” with yes or no)

I tend to start mumbling about how he can eat what I give him even though I started the shouting. When I bring him the sandwich I generally get, “Oh, I said turkey and cheese with Mayo”. I slam the plate down and tell him to make it himself next time.